Saturday, December 24, 2011

But I'm Thankful

Where did the year go?
It seems like only yesterday
I was looking into your eyes
But is has been a year

I didn't know when we talked that day
That it would be our last conversation

I didn't know when I got your heater
That your body was already shutting down

I didn't know when I prepared your lunch
That it would be your last meal

I didn't know when I brought out your oxygen
That your breathing would become so much easier

I didn't know as I prepared your blankets and pillows on the couch
That it would soon become your death bed

I didn't know when I looked into your eyes,
kissed you good night and told you I Love You
That it would be that last time

I didn't know I would never hear your voice again
Or see your eyes, or watch you smile

I didn't know the plan God had for our Christmas Eve morning

I didn't know that I would wake to find your in the arms of Jesus

I didn't know the year that was ahead 

I didn't know how much I would miss you

I didn't know how deeply the pain would affect my life

I didn't know anything then that I know now

But I'm thankful

Thankful that:

You were comfortable 

You were at peace

Your tummy was full

Your bed was prepared

Jesus was waiting and calling your name

I looked into the deep of your eyes

I kissed you good night

I told you I loved you as you did me

For today I can sit and remember you with no regrets

Loving the Great of our 31 years together

And knowing that you are my future

You wait with Jesus until the day He calls my name

We will be reunited again

So many words fill my heart

I Will Always Love You

Are the ones that stick

I am thankful as well

For the friends I have met along this path

The ones who have walked with me for part of it

And those headed in the opposite direction

Each one has played a part in my story

Each one a portion of my healing

And now I turn the page

To a new chapter

I already know the ending

But am looking forward to the details

That lie within the rest of the journey

You are resting in His arms my love

And I will continue on 

Until that great day when we All will Rejoice in Him


7 comments:

Jan said...

Oh, Sweet Friend! The day has arrived; a huge milestone in your journey! Continue to hold the hand of the One who leads you on and look ahead to the Promise of that day!

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

praying for you my precious friend. may God wrap you up tonight and just be ever present in your spirit!

Leah @ Point Ministries said...

God bless you, Cindy. I know He has been with you every step of this difficult year. I know He will be with you every step of the years to come. Merry Christmas!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

What tender, beautiful encouragement to a grieving heart! May God's blessing rest upon you as you make these final steps of 2011. I pray 2012 full of God's care, comfort, and healing for you, friend.

peace~elaine

Debbie said...

Christmas is a time of year when loved ones are especially missed. Grieving takes time and I'm so glad you continue to share your heart online so we can encourage you.

Blessings and love,
Debbie

Rosezilla said...

Such a beautiful tribute filled with pain and hope and love and sorrow. I know there is great comfort in knowing your loved one is safe in the arms of Jesus; but don't forget that He holds you in His Arms as well.

Leah Gillen said...

Sweet Cindy...I knew this post would bring tears to my eyes, although written most beautifully. It took me until today to read it. I think my struggle as of late has been greater than I could have imagined. But, I am so thankful that God allowed our paths to cross as widows. And, I'm so thankful that you had 31 amazing years with Mark! We sweet memories you shared of that last day together.

Love you sister!