8

It's 8:00 am

December 24, 2010

I awake to find it

A shell

A shell of a life once lived

Now gone

His spirit soars forevermore

With Christ

Alone, I sit

Tears

Somehow un~phased by the 

Flurry of people in and out

My life, Ours Lives

Over

Nothing will ever be the same

Empty

And now

December 24, 2018

8 Years 

The kids have grown 

Moved on to Bigger

And Better Lives

You know the story

Alone  Empty

I know tomorrow is Christmas

When we remember 

His Love

His Birth

His Purpose

However today

I feel forgotten

Alone  Forsaken

BUT

I Promise

I'm remembering the Good

The Blessings

The JOY

Days {5} {6} {7} {8} {9} of 60 to 60

WOW

When I first decided to celebrate the 60 days 

Preceding my 60th birthday

I knew I wouldn't be able to blog everyday

But I really had no intention of going nearly a week between posts

Oh Well ~~

Day {5}

I met up with a friend and received my new rocks

Purely decorative to me 

Although some people would spend many $$ on them

I worked for awhile in the morning and then

Headed over to pick up my mom

So she could have her full body PET Scan done

She had not eaten all day

SO, when it was finally time for a meal

She did herself proud

Mom has always been a big eater

Although she only weight 97 lbs

But even the waiter was impressed that she finished 

The Entire Burger!!

There are times I have trouble sleeping after a busy day

I picked up my crochet hook

And worked a bit on this piece when I got home

Someday ~~ I will finish this

Day {6}

Had me on the road to my mom's again

Arizona lost her long term Senator last week

This was one way they honored Senator McCain

Our ADOT team come up with some 

Very creative signs during the year

Took mom in for her Oncology Visit

The results of her PET Scan and labs

Oh yeah, eating again!!

Everything was Perfect

Not signs of Cancer

Doctor Sud believes the mass they found in her spleen

Is residual scar tissue from her Whipple surgery 

Almost 12 years ago

We were and continue to Celebrate

Yes - With Water

I did go home and indulge in my 

Lemon Meringue pie from the night before

Day {7}

Truly this was a day about work

Having spent the previous 2 days

With mom and doctor appointments

I needed to get back to my desk

I am trying to and thinking about

Growing my hair long

At least my bangs out

It is such a struggle to figure out how to  keep them out of my face

And still have my hair look decent

It may just get chopped off again

Day {8}

 It actually didn't start where this photo was taken

I slept in and just relaxed a bit in the morning

My brother was in town from Texas

So, my sister, BIL, mom and I all hung out with him for the day

After I got home

I went out to my back yard and cut down my dead lemon tree

I have worked so hard to keep this thing alive since Mark's passing

But this summer just took it's toll and it died.

Sorry Mark

My brother had come back into town to pick up

Another load of items 

I won't share all of the photos

But getting this golf cart onto the trailer

Was A Hoot ~ well, for those of us watching

The wheel base was much more narrow 

Than the trailer panels and

Well, they had to 'rig' things to make it work

No Duck Tape was used in the process - LOL

Day {9}

I found my marbles

Although, they are not were they are supposed to be

Really, I needed to clean the jar

Again, something used for décor

I received my last couple of pieces of clothing 

I had ordered

I don't think I will need anything new

For A Very Long Time

After a long week

And super long day

I was greeted in my driveway

By a baby bunny 

It's momma was around as well

And 3 quail hanging out in the front yard

It was a nice treat

Although I live in the city

I certainly enjoy getting daily visits from creatures in the neighborhood

Well,

I will attempt to not keep my blogging day so spread out

But, I'm not making any promises

I'm still working toward embracing the changes in my life

And will at least share photos on Instagram

You can follow me here

Hello from MIA and I need your input

Hello Sweet Friends

I know I have been MIA for so many months that I'm not sure anyone is still out there.

It has been a grueling and HARD year for me.

I have not taken care of myself and put all of my energy into taking care of others and other things.

My youngest son has moved into a group home, 

that was on February 3rd of this year.

I see him every weekend, take him to dinner and do a bit of shopping for his 'wants'.

He still struggles with not being here, 

but he is in the best place for now.

My oldest son moved to Texas on February 10th of this year.

After commuting for several months, 

his wife and daughters have now joined him.

I purchased a home for them in Mineral Wells, TX.

I made a quick trip out there in July to sign papers and 

help get them settled.

Oh my how I MISS THOSE GIRLS

As I began coming to terms with being an empty nester (alone)

After 33 years of care giving for my special need son

And 10 years of care giving for my late husband

It seems my mom will need extra care and time

I have been taking her to doctor appointments almost every week

We have 2 next week and 2 the following week

There is a possibility that she may come live with me

Sometime in the future (more near than we might like)

But that is a last resort, it depends on what all the test results are

I believe my caretaking days are not over

With all that said and SO SO SO much left out

I am asking for input

In 61 days I will turn 60

As I approached 50 (a decade ago)

My life was so very different and I embraced the change

Planned many fun events and enjoyed life

Today, life is not so fun

I'm extremely tired, worn down and battle depression

To the point I have had serious thoughts that I won't share

My goal is to begin to embrace 60 with Joy

And Hopefulness instead of hopelessness

I want to celebrate the next 60 days in special ways

Here is where YOU come in

I need ideas

Ideas of what small things I can do each day to Love myself

I'm talking things that don't cost a lot of money

And don't take up tons of time (that I don't have)

Here are a few of my own ideas:

A pedicure (I haven't had one in more than a year)

A Vacation DAY for myself and NOT a doctor appointment

(I haven't had one of those in over a year either)

Go see a movie (can't remember that last time I did that)

Finish a Project or two or thirty!!!

Read a magazine - WHAT???

You can see, I have not treated myself with any love, 

respect of gentleness

For more than a year, 

In fact it is probably more than a decade.

I try very hard to put others needs before myself and 

I believe that is good (in general)

But I am 'nearly' at my highest weight ever

Am battling anemia 'again'

Battle depression and would rather pull the covers up over my head

And stay in bed all day, than to get up an leave the house

I am in excruciating pain everyday

I take way too much Excedrin and suffer from insomnia

I MUST make some changes and I want this to be a start

60 Days to 60

What should I do??

Texas Called --- They Answered

Well Sweet Friends

Time slips away and I've failed to update 

On my Second life changing event

Honestly,

This one is hard to write and I've procrastinated

Hoping it weren't true

But first, an update on Madi

The first two weeks of his new living arrangement were tough

Lots of tears shed and many phone calls

I tried to go see him twice a week

Things have slowly gotten better

And he is definitely settling in

I go up on Sunday evenings

Take him to dinner and a bit of shopping

He calls each night at 9:00 when he gets ready for bed

It's a sweet talk and good night

I miss him but know this is what is best for this season in our lives

SO

On to the next change

Andrew, my oldest son, accepted a job opportunity in TEXAS

He left one week after Madi moved out

February 10th

So far, he Loves his new job and is quickly adjusting

To his new life

His sweet Melissa and My 3 K's will be moving

To be with him when school is out in May

My heart is so terribly torn

I KNOW this is a great opportunity for their family

However, I can hardly wrap my head around the idea of 

Them moving to Texas

Talk about an Empty Nest

I wish I had the energy to write much more

But I have been working 7 days a week 

And will continue to do so until April 5th

Which will lead me to my Next life changing event

I know God is doing Something

I am just Not Sure What!!!

Do you even wish He would just Write you a Letter?

My Heart Aches........

Blessings to you All

Until I Announce my next Change *wink*