Fledging and the Empty Nest

Sitting in my home office

Watching the sun shine on my 1949 pick up truck

Memories flooding back of happier times

Tear stained cheeks

Sad that this moment has arrived

But filled with gratefulness and pride because it has

Whispers early on of poor prognosis

Years of therapy and hard work

Have yielded to spreading wings

And the fledging from the nest

Yes, the youngest has fledged

And my nest is now empty

Little Madi has moved into a group home

30 miles away

I know it's not that far

However, it is a Huge move

And a major change in both of our lives

Madi has been my side kick since Mark passed 

December 24, 2010

We have shared so many laughs 

And shed tears of joy and sorrow

Today, Madi is hanging out in his new nest

My prayers are for safety, peace and joy

Timing is right, it's a new beginning

The first of 'several' major life changing events

That will take place for me

Over the next several months

Has happened

Although, I've been away from blogging for some time

I shall be sharing more 

As the next life change

Will begin to take place next weekend

I'll share as things unfold

It's hard to live with puzzle pieces

And today, that is all I have

But, I'm excited to see all the pieces be put into place

To have a clearing understanding of what the Lord is doing

And how this picture comes together

I'll be back next week with more to the story...

Thank Yous, Clarifications and Prayer Requests

Hello My Dear Blog Friends

It is hard to believe I have not opened my laptop

Since the 9th of January

The past two weeks have been

Scary and Busy

1. Thank You:

     I would humbly like to thank each person who has contacted me via email, text, phone, FB or through my blog to offer prayers and good thoughts. Your encouragement is what is getting me through this terribly difficult season with my youngest son.

I honestly don't know how people get through a crisis without prayer, family and friends. I know I covet your prayers and especially your encouraging words. So, thank you again and always!!

2. Clarification:

     It is a difficult task to relay my heart through the written word.  On my last post (at Loving Madi), I shared that I would attempt to use female pronouns when referring to my son, as that is what he would like. Also, I mentioned that I would try to call him Madi.

     I realize that many may have misunderstood my intention and my stance on the subject of having a son who would like to be a girl. Please let me clarify, if that is really possible.

    My son, who is 30 years old, has recently told me and the world that he is transgender and wants to go through the process of becoming female. I have been a mess since that day, September 21, 2015. I have prayed and cried out to the Lord to help him see that his choice is sinful and, in my opinion, will cause him a life of pain. Yet, so far, he has not changed his mind, in fact, he is stronger and more determined than ever.

     In my attempt to help him through his pain, I decided to show love (God's love and Grace) to him by using female pronouns and his new chosen name of Madi.  This does NOT mean that I have changed my opinion about him being transgender. I do not agree with it, I do not understand it, I do not condone it.  My heart is still broken about it, I am grieving, and praying, no pleading with God to help him, I cannot change my opinion about his choice. BUT, I can choose GRACE! I can show love and respect for his choice.

     He will always know that I am here for him, that I will always be truthful with him about my thoughts, he will always see God's love for him and God's grace for him through me. I will never turn my back on the truth's I believe are written in God's Word, yet I have to find ways to have peace in my home and keep my son from ending his life because of the pain he is in.

     It is possible that you may not agree with me or the way I have chosen to face this trial, but at least you know where I stand and why I am making the choices I am making.

     None of us has any idea of how we will handle a situation until that situation is staring us in the face. When the rubber meets the road, so to speak.

     I Never thought I'd have to face this, but it is here, in my home and I have to walk it out the best way I know how.  I may be wrong, but I'm praying through it and will listen intently for my Father's voice in the midst.

3. Prayer Request:

     Madi has been in the hospital for 9 days, 'She' was suicidal and homicidal. Threats were made and she needed to be in a place where she is safe. 

      a. Prayers are requested for a proper diagnosis (right now schizophrenia is a possibility)

      b. Correct medication and dosing for treatment

      c. Wisdom for her medical team

      d. Wisdom for housing and living arrangements

      e. Peace for me and for her

      f. God's protection and Grace

Thank you Again!

Now, I am hoping in the days ahead, I will feel more awake and at peace so I can start blogging happily again!

May you have a Blessed Week Ahead

SEASONS

Hi Sweet Friends,

Seasons of life can catch us by surprise 
And change life as we know it
And, in a moment

That is the type of season I am facing right now
I didn't really mean to quit blogging
I just haven't been here

I have missed you
You may not have even known I was gone
But I do thank the couple of friends
Who have checking in on me
And prayed during this time

I have finally decided to continue blogging
But I will start a new blog
That will pertain more to this season of life
And keep this blog for the more light hearted posts

With that said
I received two unexpected packaged in the mail on Monday

No matter when it arrives

Happy Mail - IS - Well, Just Happy

The first box I opened

Ended up being from a very dear friend

Who knew I was struggling

She wanted to lift my spirits

And she found a perfect way

A Great book, yogurt covered pretzels and a sweet card

Thank YOU

From the bottom, top and sides of my heart

The second box was from my TX friend

Who sent me a birthday gift

She knows that I LOVE Chip and Joanna

From Fixer Upper

So, since she lives in Waco where they have their brand new shop

She picked up a couple of really sweet items

And shipped them to me with tons of love and prayers

And because she knows my 'need' for beachy stuff

She found and sent this adorable

Beach themed pop up card

Is it not just the Cutest ever!!!!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you S~~~~

I love you Both

You know who you are 


And Now
I shall take my head OUT of the sand
Where it has been for the past 7 1/2 weeks
And join the land of the Living Again

Have a wonderful rest of your week
Look for JOY in the everyday
 

Procrastination Buster

Procrastination is one of my pet peeves

When I say I am going to do something

I do it in a timely and organized way

It bugs me to let things go 

When I can get them done now or today

I LOVE crossing things off of my 'to do' list

And seeing that accomplishments have been made

I love Progress

YET

I have found in my 'embracing widowhood' season

I have become an at home procrastinator

I keep telling myself I need to get something done

And then come the end of the weekend

The project has yet to be addressed

SO, with humility and some embarrassment

I have learned the art of 

Procrastination Busting!!!

Are you ready???

Post photos of the untouched, unfinished, project

Post a date, deadline or timeline to complete the project

To the World

Below you will see photos of my home office

I'm ashamed to show them

Because I DISLIKE immensely

The condition of said office

However, if I don't set a timeline to get this place cleaned up

It seems I will never even begin to start

 

Close your eyes or turn your head

If you have a weak stomach

Because below are photos of the shameful mess I need to tackle

I pray that by Sunday evening

January 26, 2014

You will never see photos like these again!!

I'M Going IN..........

Do Weeds Speak?

During the past week

I have chosen not to blog much

I didn't even share my

Weight Loss Wednesday

Instead

I have been seeking the Lord

For answers regarding a difficult decision I needed to make

This morning I decided to get outside

And tackle the above mess

No matter how hard I work around my house

There is Always another job to be worked out

Since this side yard is not a place I frequent

I didn't realize how tall the weeds had become

As I began to dig, whack and pull

The Lord began to gently speak to my heart

Cindy

Sometimes you have to dig, whack and pull

The weeds that clutter the beauty of your life

But sometimes you have to turn your back on

and walk away from the clutter that hides the beauty of your life

During the past several months

I have been digging, whacking and pulling at weeds

Which have been cluttering my life

Facing them head on

Digging up the root causes

Whacking at the stubbornness

And pulling what is left

Today

I have been released to turn my back

And walk away from all that has held me captive

All that has hidden the beauty of God's creation

And all that has cluttered my thinking

Today

I didn't make my decision

Today

I committed to the decision

God made for me several weeks ago

Today

God is stronger than my weakness

Today

God is more powerful than my fear

Today

God reigns mighty over weeds

Tonight

The weeds are gone

And God is Glorified in the Peace

He has filled my heart with