Sunday, July 31, 2011

A Promise Fulfilled

A promise made. A promise which could no longer be denied or delayed!

As she placed the final package gently and tenderly in the back of her car she could not help but allow her thoughts to wonder to the events which brought her to this place.  A year filled with illness, hospitals and loss.  A year which led to a promise.  A promise that would lead her on a journey to a familiar destination.

The 700 mile drive before her was one she had taken numerous times yet never alone or with the same intensity or a heart so broken.  Hour after hour, mile after mile she relived the past 30 years with a man whom she had loved with her whole heart.   

As she approached the 12th hour her heart began to pound and her stomach began to ache.  The summit ahead at 8138 feet marked the downward decent to her final destination.  Could she hold back the tears that began to fill her eyes?  With her body trembling it seemed the final 12 miles would drag on forever yet pass too quickly.  The moment had nearly arrived.  The moment she had promised and dreaded for 7 months.

As she made the final turn, heart in her throat, she knew the purpose would only be moments away.  Driving up to her husband's boyhood home, she saw his mom.  Opening the car door, their eyes met!  Each knowing the other's pain they embrace but nary say a word, neither allowing their tears to flow.  Smiles and hugs were abundant yet words escaped their lips. His name is not mentioned, the loss too great! Thus begins a two day journey of silently bonding in their pain while and at the same time strangely enjoying each other's company.

The children and grandchildren arrived as well as siblings for what would be their final farewell to the man whom loved them well and left them too soon.  It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon when the video began reflecting on a life cut short yet a life that was lived to its fullest no matter what circumstances arose.  Tears began to flow freely as did moments of smiles and laughter as memory after memory flashed across the screen reminding them of the joy he brought to their lives.

Too soon it was time to fulfill that promise, too soon it was time to let go and say good bye.  She carefully walked out to where the family had gathered with a package tenderly held in her hands.  The promise; to bring a son home to his mother, the time had come.

Unknowingly he had chosen his final resting place many years before.  When he was just a young boy, somewhere in the mountains, he found a lone cactus and brought it home to his mom.  He planted it with full hopes of it blossoming and thriving in a land not known for its kind.  It lived, yet never thrived nor ever bloomed. This year however, would be different.  This year it would bloom all spring with beautiful yellow flowers.  Hmmm...this year it had purpose and hope!  This year it knew the one who put hope in it, was coming home!

As family watched from the top of the hill, she carefully walked down the hillside and gently placed her package down.  She lovingly dug a small hole just below the cactus and then began to fill it with what was left of her soul mate.  Tears of loss and grief freely ran down her cheeks as she placed her beloved in the ground.  Collapsing, she covered him with earth and with the aid of her son placed a special rock over the site.  His son found this rock at the bottom of the hill and thought it looked like a chair.  He felt his dad would enjoy sitting there watching the sunset night after night as he had done so many times in years gone by.

Looking up toward heaven she caught sight of his mom and thanked God for the many years of friendship they had shared.  Gathering her strength she slowly climbed the hill to sit down beside the mom who had lost her child.  Together they held each other and sobbed for what seemed like hours!  A bonding moment neither of them ever dreamed would happen yet a treasured moment still the same.

And so a promise was fulfilled.  A promise to bring a son home to his mom!

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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

My New BFF's

  • My new (used) car
    • Which took me on a 1400 mile journey and was comfortable, cool and smooth

  • XM Radio
    • Oh what a joy to enjoy non-static radio from the 60's, 70's, country and Christian

  • My camera
    • I only took 456 photos while I was away
    • I think I need some editing expertise

  • Warm Salt Water
    • I've only had braces for 9 days ~ This rocks

  • My own bed
    • Self explanatory
I really do plan on blogging about my trip that very few people new I was taking, I just haven't been able to put my thought's in written form yet.

Thankful for some new BFF's

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

My Heart Tonight

Last year at this time I was praying that I would be Here at this time this year. 

So many of my blog friends whom I have come to know and grown to love are going to be there this weekend and I have prayed all year to be able to join them. 

Yet the Lord has chosen a different journey for me over the next few days which keeps me on the opposite side of the country than North Carolina.

To you, my precious blog friends who are headed for She Speaks
I love you and pray Gods richest blessings over you this weekend
I believe the Lord will speak as you listen
I believe He is preparing to open some mighty big doors
I believe I am thankful I knew you before...... :)

Friends, I will be turning off all forms of communication during the next several days
and focusing on some extremely difficult tasks! 

I ask that you would be so kind as to pray for me and my family once more.

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wigs like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  Isaiah 40:29-31

  "In quietness and trust is your strength."  Isaiah 30:15b

Tonight Lord, as I prepare to face a new dawn in my life,
I trust and rest in You!
Tonight Lord, I thank you for blessing me with family and friends,
both far and near, who are willing to lift my name to Your listening ears
Tonight Lord, I place my all in Your waiting arms!


I wish I had words to express my heart tonight. 
Sadness and grief seem so terribly vague.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Phase III

Phase III
Of my total mouth Renovation
Has begun

This morning I got my full set of braces placed
As well as an upper expander appliance
(of which I will not terrorize you with a photo)

Not much pain at all today
A small amount of sensitivity this evening

I am excited to be working toward
Something I have wanted to do
Since I was a teenager

Thankful that God has finally said Yes!
Patience in a good thing

Considering Straight Teeth in My Future,

Sunday, July 17, 2011

We Have A Winner...

DrumRoll Please.............

The winner of my 300th post give~away is:

Congratulations Connie

Your gift will be awaiting your arrival
In Arizona the first part of August :)

Looking forward to seeing you again!!

Considering my next Post,

Thursday, July 14, 2011

This too shall pass...

I cannot say I know for sure what is wrong with me
Yet, I think it has to do with many months
Of stress~filled, sleepless nights

But here is what I have spent my day with


Mark's pillow and blankie he used all the time
Soup, Tylenol and lots of sleep

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day

Considering being sick ~ Yucky

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

This and That for 300

Tonight I celebrate my
300th post
On this blog

So much rambling during that time
And so much Life as well

In honor of 300
I will do a Give~Away
Just leave a comment below
(on this blog - not facebook)
 I will choose a random winner
Sunday July 17th

Today I started
Phase 2
Of my total mouth renovation

I had the bands placed
Now I am going to choose
NOT to whine
But I think I will be having a shake for dinner
Can't wait until next week
When I have everything else set

Today is my K~Bugs 7th Birthday

Her mom and dad put on an Awesome party for her on Saturday
Here she is getting ready for the pinata
What a great party filled with
Family, friends, food and yummy Cake
Love you Miss K~Bug
More than you will ever know

I am smiling now
Because after two days with No A/C
At work, In Phoenix, In July
We finally got it fixed
There is at least 1 A/C company
That will always be on my
Not Good List
And another one on my
"We Love You Guys" List:)

That is enough jibber~jabber for tonight
Make sure to leave a comment here
You might win a "cool" prize

Considering 300 ~ A lot of typing,

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Weekly Inspiration

After the 30 Day Photography Challenge
The 'host' decided to do a Weekly Inspiration

I am just a few days behind
But last weeks inspiration was
"What you Eat"

Thanks to Costco
I had this for lunch

It was YuMmY

Someday I will have a photography blog page
I Hope!!!!

Considering a bowl of fruit,

Saturday, July 9, 2011

How a Haboob sells a Truck

It's possible that the Haboob in Phoenix
Didn't actually Sell a Truck
But is also a possibility
That God used that 'dirty' storm
To Sell a Truck

A truck that has sat unused
In my driveway since Mark's passing
A truck that needed to be sold
Because it is a constant reminder of my loss
A truck that was loved through 205,000 miles
And was being ignored

In the aftermath of the Haboob
I have been attempting to clean up the house
However I have not as of yet finished the job

Two days after the storm
I walked outside to find this

Can you see it in the photo?
Son #2 had written 'for sale'
On the windshield of the now filthy truck
Someone drove by and put a note on the windshield as well
Can you see it?
It says "If you want to sell this, call me",
And has a name and phone number

24 hours later.........
Bye~Bye Little Red Pick~Up

Believe me
My heart has had to adjust to
Yet another piece of Mark leaving the property
Still, I continue to find Joy
In even the most difficult of situations

God used a dust storm
And a son
To help this mom
Let Go!

 My Markie
Loved his little red pick~up
But now, it has a new owner
And I have another story of God's
Faithfulness to share

Considering It All Joy,

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Hullabaloo over a HABOOB

Why all the Hullabaloo about a Haboob?

A type of violent or intense dust storm or sandstorm
seen mostly in the Sudan

Well, Haboob 2011 got lost
And landed in Arizona

I have lived in Phoenix for more than 16 years
I have experience many of these dust storms
Of varying degrees
Never have I experienced what
Happened on July 5, 2011

Fortunately I returned home
From a few days away
About 30 minutes before it hit

Once inside the 'safety' of my home
The storm rolled in

I looked out and could not see the house across the street
I could barely see my front yard

The wind was strong
At some points and places nearby
They recorded up to 70 MH Gusts

This particular storm lasted
over an hour
Which was super long
And I am not ashamed to admit
That I was a little scared at a few points

I pulled this photo off the web

As well as this one

A friend took this photo from his home
And put it on FB

Once the dust settled (hehe)
This is what is left behind
My pool is Mud
I have NO idea how I am
Ever going to get it clean again

So far I have spent 2 hours
Just hosing off some of the dust
Around the pool
And cleaning the filters

K~Bugs Car

Don't think I'll be using this today

Nor will I be serving any food from this table

Even the inside of my house
Is covered in a thin layer of dust:(

No, it's not a hurricane, tornado,
Tsunami or earthquake
It's just our version of the above

Hullabaloo of Haboob
A Dirty Job,

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

An Opportunity To Grow~Up

Hi Friends,

Now that the 30 day photography challenge is over it is my hope to get back to regular blogging!

Over the past 6 months many of you have had the opportunity to watch me waver in my emotions as I have traveled this new journey through the valley of the shadow of death.  Losing my husband of nearly 30 years this past Christmas Eve not only knocked the wind from my sails it also sent me into severe depression which caused me to believe that my ship had sunk and I too had drown in the aftermath.

Depression is a devastating yet real experience that can cause physical as well as emotional pain.  Tonight's post is not about depression however I believe that post will be written soon. Tonight I want to focus on getting my feet back on the ground, making choices to live and grow up in the wake of tragedy.

These past few weeks, as I was nearing the 6 month point since his passing, I had to make some tough legal decisions as well as financial ones.  Because my husband had been ill for 8 years there was No life insurance on any kind.  The $255.00 that you receive from social security was donated to one of Mark's favorite ministries. I did not want to financially gain one penny from his death.  So what I will share is not because I received money when he passed.  But I share because I've had to make decisions to grow up and being to live again.

As a middle aged widow I Hope to have many more years of happy and active life ahead of me.  In that I don't want to be saddled down with the weight, heavy burdens and financial stress that so often plague widows when a spouse passes.  Mark and I were smart with our finances in recent years and did not live above our means.  We tithed, saved, did not use credit cards, and did not have car payments.  However, we have a mortgage and 2nd for our pool.  

I have prayed and prayed in recent months finally making some decisions in June.  Last week I withdrew my IRA and savings to pay off my home :)  :)  :)  That my friends; was a HUGE deal!!!  My home is now paid if full!!!  I LOVE those words!!

The day after paying of my home, my 13 year old car (died) :(  Not a happy day for me!  Yet, I have seen God work as I have grown to trust Him and believed that He would open the right doors for me to make another decision.  On Sunday, without going into many details, God showed me the perfect vehicle for our little family and I was able to purchase it with a certification and remainder of the original warranty.  

I forgot to take a picture of it before it got dark but here it is in the garage.  As I type we are being hit by a horrendous wind/dust storm and I don't dare open the garage door to get a clearer shot.  Maybe tomorrow:)

Every decision I have made since I was 21 was made with the help and support of my hubby.  These two decisions are the first two major ones I have had to make on my own.  The Lord has reminded me that it is called 'Growing Up Cindy and Trusting in ME'.  I'm thankful for the opportunity to grow up these past couple of weeks.  He has given me sweet peace in my choices and assured me of His constant presence in my life.

On another note, last week I was invited to join BlogHer Publishing Network and will process the necessary paperwork this week.  I am truly excited about this and believe it will open a new door of opportunity for me.  I will have the joy of doing some book and product reviews, as well as get to know other bloggers on a new level.  

I do believe that I am coming out of the depths of dispair and beginning to re~enter the land of the living.

Thank you for allowing me to share my heart tonight.

Considering Growing Up with Joy,