Monday, December 24, 2018


It's 8:00 am
December 24, 2010

I awake to find it
A shell
A shell of a life once lived
Now gone

His spirit soars forevermore
With Christ

Alone, I sit
Somehow un~phased by the 
Flurry of people in and out

My life, Ours Lives
Nothing will ever be the same

And now
December 24, 2018
8 Years 

The kids have grown 
Moved on to Bigger
And Better Lives
You know the story

Alone  Empty

I know tomorrow is Christmas
When we remember 
His Love
His Birth
His Purpose

However today
I feel forgotten
Alone  Forsaken

I Promise
I'm remembering the Good
The Blessings

Monday, December 17, 2018

2018 Ornament Exchange

My dear sweet friend Stephanie
Hosted her first Ornament Exchange

When I heard she was doing this
I knew I wanted to participate
Everything Stephanie does
Is done with Excellence
And this was no different

I was excited to meet my new friend
Anne Marie of
Musings of a Vintage Junkie

I scoped out her blog and tried 
To choose items that were vintage in nature
And fit with my holiday color scheme

I think I succeeded but I forgot to take photos
Before I wrapped everything
So, here are a few I took
Once my package was wrapped and ready to sent

It was such a pleasure to receive my little package
I seldom receive 'happy mail' so this was fun

My new friend Abby is a talented crafter
I could tell when I opened the envelope

She cut this beautiful bird out of chimney flashing
So cute

And designed this treasured advent calendar
Each day has a wonderful scripture
Printed with sweet details 

The little bird hangs on ribbon

Love the hand crafted booklet

A very sweet and now treasured gift
I will always remember my first ornament exchange

Thank you Stephanie for Hosting
Thank you Anne Marie and Abby
For Participating and Being a Blessing

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

This Year of Letting Go

It was a purposeful choice to NOT
Pick a 2018 Word of The Year
I didn't want to focus on one area of growth
I just wanted God to lead my year

Looking back, I kind of wish I had chosen a word
It is possible my year would have unfolded differently
However, Because I know God
I believe it was HIS plan to have me 
Pass on a word for this year

Had I known how the year would unravel
I may have set aside HIS plan
And set out on an adventure of my own choosing
Yet, and still, HIS plan prevailed 

Today, I will share a timeline of what 
Would have possibly been my 2018 Word
Since Letting Go is not a single word
I'd have to go with:  RELEASE

The first inkling of change came on February 3rd
I packed up and moved my youngest son to a group home
At 32 it was time for him to experience life in a new way
It's been a challenge for both of us
However, we are 10 months in
I see him every weekend for dinner
And we are surviving

Change continued only 1 week later
When my oldest son moved to Texas
To start a new job

There goes another U-Haul
Sent away with HUGS
And tear~filled farewells
From mom, his wife and three daughters

March 31, 2018
The Shop "Tillie's Attic"
Where I enjoyed a fun business venture
And grew in my creative niche: Closed!!

It seemed, at the time, I was losing everything I loved

Until, of course, the next step of Letting Go 
Literally took me to my knees

My son came back for his little family
Texas or Bust her sign reads 
To Texas they went

Little did I know that I would follow
A day later to sign papers for the house I bought them
So happy I was able to see their new home
And give them all more great big {{{HUGS}}}

In August was my brothers family's turn to load a U-Haul
He had been working in Texas for nearly a year
Commuting every weekend
Although we hated to see them leave
His wife and kids were thrilled to finally 
Be together again

Then came the surprise of all surprises
In October mom went to Texas for a little visit
She wanted to see the RV Park my brother's family purchased
And get a feel for where so many of our family members
Had ventured off to

Well, a week into her 'visit' 
My sister and I received a call 
We were NOT waiting for
Mom decided to Move to Texas

My sister and I spent the next couple of weeks
Cleaning and packing moms home
Putting it up for sale 
And preparing her move

Her little place in now and the market

And on December 1st
Here belongings headed for Texas

I'm not over the leaving of my kids and grands
Now my brother, his family and my mom
Are all off on their own adventures

In the midst of all these transitions
We lost 2 wonderful family members
My mom's SIL - Aunt Loretta
My SIL's mom - Cora
We miss them terribly
And are sad to have lost them to eternity
Although, They are eternally Happy

This has been a year of letting go and sorrow
It is not over

What is, I believe and pray,
The final loss of 2018 is only weeks away
But already in progress

I've held this knowledge for nearly 2 years
I've been keeping a secret until the timing was right
Not my timing, of course
But the timing for the person whose 
Decision will change my life

My boss, of nearly 12 years
Has sold her Pediatric Practice
Although I have known every step of the process
She has finally told the staff and patients
She is phasing out and the new owners will 
Take over December 31, 2018

I will remain employed
My job will change
(honestly, I'm not positive what I will be doing)
My salary will decrease about 30%
My heart is breaking
I do have bouts of fear and depression
I'm 60 and don't quite know what to do

God is My Source
My Refuge
My Provision
My Peace

However, being a widow 
With such a year of great loss and change
I'm, quite frankly, feeling overwhelmed

Many days I get home from work
Head straight to bed
Struggling to sleep
Forcing myself to get up in the morning
Only to do it all again
All the while, just wanting
To sleep it all away

I haven't even put out a Christmas Tree
Or one single decoration 

Well, that's spill the beans
Those are just the major losses 
For 2018
Can't even talk about daily life ~~~

I think I may just choose a Word for 2019
What shall it be?

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

This Eve

As I write on the eve of what will be
The beginning of my 7th decade on this earth
I ponder 60 years of life

Grateful is a word that is 
Prevalent on my lips
So many wonderful memories tucked
Away in my heart

Treasured are 30 years of marriage
To a man who loved me well
Though he is missed daily
I treasure the gift of his presence

Adoption: another treasured word
Not only has God blessed my life
With two amazing sons through adoption
His love for us means we are 
Adopted into His forever family
How amazing is that

Family, more precious than jewels
So many that God has placed in my life
Grateful for each and every one
I wear their love around my neck with honor

Friendships, both far and near
Grateful cannot suffice in depth of those 
Whose love and faithful understanding
Have truly saved my life at times

Work/Jobs have afforded me opportunities
To live a life of comfort
But more importantly, they have blessed
My life with community and courage

The House of God
Feast or Famine, no matter the season
I believe that God's House is a Great and Mighty
Place of peace, rest and maturing

Seasons, dry, hard, dark at times
Joy-Filled as well
Yet, in all of them there are
Treasured moments of Increase and Change

Oh change, always abundant in life
Never shall our lives remain in stale vapidity
Change is ever present
This year has been no different

More so than in previous years
Both children have moved away
As have my DIL and granddaughters
Leaving my home empty and devoid of warmth

A brother and his family 
A momma also following suit
Gone to new adventures
But not forgotten

A business lost to rising rents
Those friends dispersed into varied locations
Change, oh crazy change
 I have saved the next for tomorrow

Another change, another life decision
Adventure or Stagnation

Where will God lead?
Will my will bow to His 
Can I let go of comfort, of contentment
To allow HIS plan to unfold?

Change, oh crazy change
Where will this 7th decade take me?

No matter where it leads my prayer is that, YOU
My faithful friends
Will continue to watch God move 
And join me on my next adventure!!

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Recreating ... Not the Answer

Hi Sweet Friends

It seems like a lifetime ago
In the weeks leading up to my 50th Birthday
I challenged myself to try new things
Face some fears
And reach for far off dreams

I did Canon Balls in my pool
Played my piano daily
And vowed to stand on the edge
Of the Grand Canyon to see the sun rise

My fear of heights was No match
For my Dream to be their
I did … And so did my husband and sons

It was a time of strength, growing
Nothing could stop me from
Embracing a new decade and enjoying life

Life is so different
My husband has been with Jesus for nearly 8 years
My oldest son and his family live in Texas
My youngest son lives away in a group home
I am here … Alone … 
Trying to recreate my 50
It's Not The Answer

It's taken me 40 days to realize
That I was trying to recreate a time in my life
But it is Not were I am today
I cannot go back
I cannot recreate

I desperately want to embrace 60
In the same way I did 50
Yet, I am not the same
Nor is my Life

I'm done with 60 to 60

I bought myself some flowers
After work yesterday
Just Because

I treated myself to a pedicure today
Just Because

I don't know what the next 20 days hold
I just know, It will be different
It won't be a Joy-Filled journey 
To the next decade with my family

But, It Will Be...