Monday, June 1, 2009

Monday's Question and Another Winner!

Hi All,

I'm a bit behind on posting my Monday's Question but better late than never.

I'll get straight to it.

Have you used blogging as a substitute for interpersonal relationships?


Yes, that is the question.

This is a very difficult question to ask but an even more difficult one to answer.

If you have read my blog at all there is one thing you know about me: I am nothing if not honest about life and what I have faced, especially in the past couple of years. That is what makes this question difficult for me to answer because honesty opens the door to vulnerability. There are those who read my blog whom I would maybe prefer NOT know some things about me but here I am.

Although I have been a sales director with Mary Kay, a Women's Pastor at a fairly large church and am currently the Women's Ministries Director at our sweet small church, I am generally a very shy person. It has always been difficult for me to make new friends but once made, I keep them for a lifetime. But in the past two years, after an extremely emotional and devastating separation from our old church, I have retreated and had a very hard time making new friends. There are days when insecurities cause my mouth to lock tight, and other days when getting out of bed seems nearly impossible. My mind wants to be friendly and join in conversations but my body becomes paralyzed with fear of being hurt again.

I have sought the Lord and His healing power. I can work without any hint of fear but when it comes to making new friends or getting involved in new things I just freeze.

Blogging became a part of my life a year ago as a means of journaling my experiences with loss and grief. I didn't really think I would make friends but I have and I greatly enjoy hearing from other bloggers as well as reading your posts. However, it has set up the perfect opportunity for me to have relationships without the concern of having my heart ripped out again.

Thus, in recent months the Lord has been speaking to my heart about the amount of time I spend blogging, on facebook or emailing in general. For me, unfortunately, the answer to this question must be yes, I have used blogging as a substitute for interpersonal relationships.

There, I said it, can I be done now?

Not so fast! When the Lord poses a question to my heart He usually doesn't just want a trite answer, but a heart-felt one covered in prayer and surrounded with honesty and a willingness to be transformed. This week I will be praying for myself in response to this question and for you. But I am sure that I am the only person who has this issue, right?

I am not quite sure where this leaves me. I am prayerful that God will adjust my blog time and number of posts. I will say that facebook will probably be a thing of the past though. For now I will be seeking my Jesus and His answer to this very question.

You may not want to answer this question publicly. You are welcome to email me or just let me know if it made you think!

Considering Monday's Question A Joyful Thing!

By The Way ~ The Winner of My 1 Year/100 Post is Debbie at HeartChoice. Congratulations and make sure you all stop by her blog for great Fitness Friday Tips.


  1. Not really as a substitute but as communication with friends and family from my home town.

  2. Hi, Cindy. This is my first time here, and I'm glad I stumbled in and onto this post.

    I started blogging as a means of writing. Developing friendships wasn't even a tiny thought in my mind. How can people who've never met become friends? But that's exaclty what happened, and each of them have been a blessing in my life.

    It's tough to discipline yourself when it comes to the computer. I love to blog and read other blogs, but that and Facebook and Twitter just gets to be too much. And sometimes I'd much rather look a person in the face and talk to them rather than typing onto a screen.

    Love your blog!

  3. Oh I'm so excited to win! Cindy, blogging has brought so many wonderful opportunities into my life. I purposely try to include topics on Heart Choices that might appeal to Christians and also non Christians. I sprinkle salt and light though throughout. I'm excited to get emails from women who are not yet believers.

    I always thought I would have a ministry and write and speak. I was trained with the Littauer's too. But my husband needed me to work with him so that was put on hold (for years). In the meantime, I needed to learn everything about blogging, social networks and social media and hence my part time blogging. And what a blessing it's been. I haven't had the time to spend with my friends like I used to do but my blogging friends have been awesome. I can't tell you how many times I would get an email or a comment that touched my heart. I am already planning to meet some of my blogging friends in person. You live in the Phoenix area, so maybe we can meet sometime too. My time is so limited right now. We are trying to sell our house to downsize and there's lots more going on. My direct email is

  4. Dear Cindy, this is a very thought provoking post. Insightful. Authentic. Transparent.

    It sounds like God has used blogging to bring healing to your life. A safe place... finding safe people... and now... well, it sounds like "why" you are blogging may be developing into something else.

    And you're listening to God's prompting... what inspiration!

    God's blessings to you as you journey throughout this thing called life!

  5. Honest, raw, real post as always.

  6. I love this, but am having a hard time coming up with an answer.
    Probably because it is yes.

    I use blogging and the computer all too much as a substitute for real relationships with the people right in my house... i.e. my hubby. This is safer. Less likely to be hurt (though it still can happen).
    I can blog and really be open and honest with what I am struggling with, but the person who lives with me and should know this stuff, for the most part, doesn't. He knows i have a blog, and write, but he is not a big reader, so for the most part, he doesn't read it. I never write on here things I don't want him to read, but rarely do I tell him some of those things either...

    ok. God. Yes. Hmmm. I hear you!!! ugh.

    another something to work on! :)
    thanks for the thoughts!

  7. Love the question! I have not used blogging to substitute interpersonal relationships but I had hoped it may take them further or deeper. I have another friend who asked a similar question..."does virtual connection really maintain relationships? If we take out the face to face reality is it still possible to go deeper?"

    I love and agree with her answer. So, I monitor my blogging time and work hard at getting face to face coffee/tea appointments with close friends on the least twice a month to go deeper with one another. If that friend blogs, I just get another little glimpse of her world. That is a bonus but not a necessary for a growing friendship.

  8. Dear friend, I love this question. I have not exchanged computer friends for face to face friends... though I have gained many here on this thing called the internet.

    I LONG for face to face relationship.... and am trusting Papa God to ignite that fire within other women here in my town... and then orchestrate our paths to meet up.

    Until that time, I am very grateful for people who read my heart... Thanks for being my internet friend.



Hi Friend, I read and cherish every single comment you leave! You bring Joy to my heart! Blessings, Cindy