Hello Sweet Friends
I know I have been MIA for so many months that I'm not sure anyone is still out there.
It has been a grueling and HARD year for me.
I have not taken care of myself and put all of my energy into taking care of others and other things.
My youngest son has moved into a group home,
that was on February 3rd of this year.
I see him every weekend, take him to dinner and do a bit of shopping for his 'wants'.
He still struggles with not being here,
but he is in the best place for now.
My oldest son moved to Texas on February 10th of this year.
After commuting for several months,
his wife and daughters have now joined him.
I purchased a home for them in Mineral Wells, TX.
I made a quick trip out there in July to sign papers and
help get them settled.
Oh my how I MISS THOSE GIRLS
As I began coming to terms with being an empty nester (alone)
After 33 years of care giving for my special need son
And 10 years of care giving for my late husband
It seems my mom will need extra care and time
I have been taking her to doctor appointments almost every week
We have 2 next week and 2 the following week
There is a possibility that she may come live with me
Sometime in the future (more near than we might like)
But that is a last resort, it depends on what all the test results are
I believe my caretaking days are not over
With all that said and SO SO SO much left out
I am asking for input
In 61 days I will turn 60
As I approached 50 (a decade ago)
My life was so very different and I embraced the change
Planned many fun events and enjoyed life
Today, life is not so fun
I'm extremely tired, worn down and battle depression
To the point I have had serious thoughts that I won't share
My goal is to begin to embrace 60 with Joy
And Hopefulness instead of hopelessness
I want to celebrate the next 60 days in special ways
Here is where YOU come in
I need ideas
Ideas of what small things I can do each day to Love myself
I'm talking things that don't cost a lot of money
And don't take up tons of time (that I don't have)
Here are a few of my own ideas:
A pedicure (I haven't had one in more than a year)
A Vacation DAY for myself and NOT a doctor appointment
(I haven't had one of those in over a year either)
Go see a movie (can't remember that last time I did that)
Finish a Project or two or thirty!!!
Read a magazine - WHAT???
You can see, I have not treated myself with any love,
respect of gentleness
For more than a year,
In fact it is probably more than a decade.
I try very hard to put others needs before myself and
I believe that is good (in general)
But I am 'nearly' at my highest weight ever
Am battling anemia 'again'
Battle depression and would rather pull the covers up over my head
And stay in bed all day, than to get up an leave the house
I am in excruciating pain everyday
I take way too much Excedrin and suffer from insomnia
I MUST make some changes and I want this to be a start
60 Days to 60
What should I do??