Continuing The Surrender

One thing I have definitely learned

On this journey through grief

Is that is it a process of surrendering.

Surrendering my will to the will of The Father

Surrendering my thoughts to His thoughts

Surrendering my plans to His purpose

It is also a journey of letting go

Of which I seem to becoming

More accustomed to

Yet, there are still times and 'items' 

That I have a harder time letting go of

In recent days I have finally begun to tackle Mark's desk

He had one special drawer that he kept his personal belonging in

 In this place

I have found his wallet, keys, glasses, and a host of other

personal things that truly were him

So, I sat down in his chair

To go through his things

Medications, personal notes, lists and money

Were among some of the items



This little cross

Which has now found a home in my purse



This tag that he has had on his key ring

For so many years

A host of lotions and skin medications

Used to tackle skin cancers and the effects

Of numerous other meds

Which left his skin thin, bruised and bloody





And then his myriad of gum

I didn't realize just how much he loved this stuff

I was able to tackle at least 1/2 of it

But when it came to the truly personal stuff

I just decided to put it back in the drawer for another day

Yes, it is a process

One I was not prepared for

But one that is preparing me for the future

I'm surrendered

And looking forward :)