I...Am not you and that is what has kept me away from blogging for quite some time.
When I first began blogging a few years ago it was just to journal my life and journey.
I loved it! Almost daily I would come to this place and just begin typing whatever was on my heart. It was the place I felt safe and comfortable to share the truth about who I am and what I was facing as I journeyed along my path.
Somewhere in the midst of my journey I got lost in the world of numbers. Number of comments, followers, and posts which eventually made blogging become more of a job than a joy. I was attempting to figure out what people wanted to follow, to comment on and what would make others come to MY blog. I tried to do things other 'BIG' blogs did, attempted to lure 'followers' so my comments would be higher but ultimately quit blogging all together.
For me blogging had lost it's purpose and I was no longer fulfilling mine.
I've spent many months seeking the Lord about my life and where I go from here. He has graciously shown me areas both of lack and abundance. He has lifted my eyes and let me gaze upon my life from His perspective. I have seen error in some of my ways and realize where I went wrong. That is why this post is entitled "I...am not you".
I am not the blogger who has hundreds of followers, comments and posts everyday.
I am not the blogger who beautifully writes a post on every situation she faces.
I am not the blogger who can transform everything she touches into works of art then posts the photos as proof.
I am not the blogger who capture's life through the eye of a lens then blogs about it.
I am not the blogger who lives with a Pastor, leads Bible studies and easily blogs about what God is doing in the world.
I am not the blogger who has written several books and can captivate an audience with a few words.
I am not the blogger who see's all of life in pictures and is able to translate to the reader.
I am not the blogger who...
As it has become clearer and clearer of all the things that I am not...
God has opened my eyes to all the things I AM...
I AM...first and foremost a child of the King, the King who has filled my heart with JOY and PEACE.
I AM...a woman who loves Jesus and lives seeking to find joy in every circumstance I see.
I AM...a wife to one man for nearly 29 years. Our life and family motto has always been: 'through it all...FAITH'.
I AM...a mom to two wonderful adopted boys and one of their birth sisters who recently came into our lives. They are my world.
I AM...a nana to three beautiful granddaughters ~ who have brought joy to my heart just by being alive.
I AM...a daughter, sister and auntie! My extended family is vitally important to me and I value all of the moments we get to spend together.
I AM...an administrator, from the center of my being (just ask my hubby) who loves her job and receives great joy in a job well done.
I AM...genuine, loyal, encouraging, honest, hard-working, passionate and compassionate.
I AM...filled with integrity.
I AM...an awesome organizer.
I LOVE...to write.
I LOVE...scrapbooking, photography, decorating and refinishing furniture.
I THINK...I even love blogging.
So, I am back ~ As Me! The person God created! The person who I was meant to be! The person who fell in love with blogging just because!
If I have people who want to follow my blog ~ That is great!
If there are others who want to leave comments ~ I welcome them!
But I won't live for them or try to create them. I just welcome them as the encouragment they are meant to be.
I am happy to be back during the Christmas season because I LOVE CHRISTMAS, I LOVE shopping, I LOVE taking pictures and sharing my heart!
Considering Being Back To My BLOG with Great JOY,
You are speaking to my heart girl! Glad to have you back friend. Blessings this holiday season. You ARE a princess, God's child and a GREAT friend!!!ReplyDelete
Beautifully said. As you wrote about followers, comments, enticing others, I am SOOO with you on that. I was so driven by that. I can tell it still bothers me that in the last couple months I've only had a couple comments per posts...maybe because those not reading/doing the current study feel they can't/shouldn't pipe in. I don't know. I may have over 100 followers but are they really following and reading? It matters less and less to me...just trusting the Lord that He will lead others to my site for HIS reason WHEN He desires. I have had some amazing encounters with people who just "happen" upon my blog. So, I leave it in His hands to direct people when they need to hear the words He's given me.ReplyDelete
I say all that to say that I totally understand how you were feeling and who you are not but are.
You are beautiful Cindy...a real deep down Jesus loving girl...beautiful!ReplyDelete