It is a pleasure to sit at my computer this evening with tears freely flowing down my cheeks as I prepare to share my heart on the second chapter of Self Talk, Soul Talk written by Jennifer Rothschild.
Our book study is hosted by Lelia of WriteFromTheHeart so if you would like to join in just check out her blog and link in. The ladies I have met during our Yes To God Tuesdays are absolutely wonderful.
Why is it a pleasure to have tears running down my face? Because a few short months ago I never would have allowed that to happen. Tears were banned from my life for 5 years - the enemy had stolen my joy and my tears. Today the joy is back and the tears flow freely. I am so blessed.
What do tears have to do with renewing my thought closet? Everything!!
My thought closet used to be filled with labels, half truths and rules that must be followed in order to 'be' the 'perfect' Christian leader. One sign that hung in my thought closet was "NO TEARS ALLOWED". No more - I am free.
My thought closet has been going through a cleansing for some time but just when I thought I had every negative thought brought captive into the obedience of Christ ~ WHAM ~ I got hit with trials and those negative thoughts have been bombarding my brain like bombs coming in from every direction.
What happened this week?
Friday, my husband was laid off work. Yikees! So many American's are in the same position. My thoughts were immediately focused on the question: "What are we going to do about insurance?" You see, my husband has had a kidney transplant and his medications are extremely expensive and then there are all those doctor visits and lab fees. It is one thing to cut back on extra expenses but you cannot cut back on medications necessary for the rejection of a kidney. Many of my thoughts have been: I shouldn't have spent money at Christmas, I should have saved more, I should have worked harder, what if we can't afford the meds and he dies, etc.
Now please understand that I trust God to work all things out for His glory and purposes. I believe this is all in His plan and was not a shock to Him. I am just relaying that my thought closet became congested with the negative for a few hours.
Since Friday, we have had major cutbacks at my office. It is very sad when you are the person who needs to make cuts to someone else's life and you start worrying about what they are going to do when you tell them their position has been cut or decreased. It has been an emotional week.
Today, I came home from an extremely long and difficult day at work to find out my oldest son was hit in the eye by some machine at work (don't ask because I don't know) and his cornea has been burned. He has been at the hospital all day and will see an ophthamologist in the morning. The doctors say that he will have permanant damage from the injury. We are praying the God will touch him.
The enemy would like nothing more than for me to just focus on the 'BAD' report and 'BAD' news we have received during the past 5 days.
Yes, But God...He is our provider, our healer, and the renewer of our thoughts . He is the one I choose to listen to tonight. He is the one I rest in.
The lies the enemy would have me think about tonight are:
1. You won't get insurance and your husband is going to die.
2. Your son will lose his eyesight
3. Your office will go under and you won't have a job.
4. You are fat, ugly, spend too much money, lazy, selfish, etc, ---fill in the blanks.
Jennifer asks: What Does The Truth Sound Like?
The Word tells me the truth sounds like this:
1. Mark will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done. (Psalm 118:17)
2. And by His wounds Andrew's eyes are healed. (Isaiah 53:5b)
3. My God will meet all the needs of our work environment according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:19)
4. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Pslam 139:14)
I am fully aware that if I don't stay in God's Word my thought life will just sink into the depths of despair but I also know that by continuing to bask in the beautiful presence of the Lord and His glorious Word ~ my thoughts will become His thoughts!!!
No matter what I face in life I continue to stand on God's Word that teaches me to:
Consider It All Joy,