Thursday, August 28, 2008

Trust...through betrayal!

God is doing a work in my heart, therefore this may be a rough post for me.

In whom do I place my trust?

It has become increasingly evident in my life that I have placed too much trust, hope, faith, and expectation in people. Disappointment follows when my trust is in the wrong place. My heart has been broken time and time again in the past two years as I have trusted my friends, family, church family, co-workers, children and husband to meet my expectations. I trust that they will make the right choices, hold a confidence and be faithful to what 'I' believe is right.

Guess what? It hasn't happened the way I thought it should. Friends have betrayed a confidence, children have made choices I don't agree with, church family have lied and gossiped, there has even been a betrayal of trust in a 27 year marriage.

Who am I to set the standard that others should live by? Where do I go from here?

I am learning to 'Consider it all Joy'. None of the hurtful events of the passed two years make me happy but it brings me joy because as I journey through the pain I am learning more about who God is. And, I am learning 'where' to place my trust.

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8

I, and each of the people in my life who have 'hurt or betrayed' me are human. We were all made in the image of God yet, we are not God, we are not perfect. We are learning to die to self and be a reflection of who God is.

"A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret." Proverbs 11:13

I would love to believe that there are trustworthy people in this world. I would love to believe that I am truly trustworthy at all times. I fail the test. We all fail.

My precious Lord has been teaching me, especially over the past two days, that my trust must be in Him and Him alone. He is my creator. He knows my heart. He knows my needs.

I will continue to love, to be vulnerable, to share my heart with others and even my failings. But I think I have come to realize that my untimate trust must be in God for when disappointment comes He will here.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze," says the Lord". Isaiah 43:2

Today is a new day filled with hope. I stand on God's word, on His promises to be with me no matter what I may face. It will be a joy filled day!

Blessings,
Cindy

10 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry for your anguish...

    I love your perspective that today will be filled with joy! Hang in there.

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  2. So nice to see your comment this morning...thank you for visiting...come again...I am glad that I clicked onto your blog as well.
    I am so sorry for what you have been going through and continue to walk through. I love your dependence on the Lord...I have learned as well that only in the hard times do we really learn how to trust Him and cling to His daily Word to us...
    I am praying that He will continue to tenderly lead you through this patch in your life and that you find Him as faithful as He is.

    Helen

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  3. Dear Father God, hold your precious daughter right now and continue to whisper in her heart just how much You love and adore her. Amen

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  4. Hi, Cindy! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Indeed, I hope that Jesus seeds your heart with his peace this day. We never need it more than when we have experienced the pains and betrayals of this world. I have known all manner of betrayals in my life and have learned that my flesh, along with the flesh of others, is prone to failure. Sometimes small, sometimes harsh, but always wounding.

    You're right in saying that Jesus is the only One worthy of our trust. He will never fail us; that being said, I would miss out on a great deal of living and love by insulating my heart from trusting others. When it's bad...it's an awful bleed. But when it's good...it mirrors the heart of our Father's love for us.

    I choose relationship, and I hear that in your words tonight. Anyway, sorry for rambling. I'm so glad to meet you.

    peace~elaine

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  5. Cindy, your writing here tonight has made me think of a song I hear on the Christian radio station. May the lyrics minister to your heart tonight. It's titled, "Anyway".

    You can spend your whole life building
    Something from nothing
    One storm could come and blow it all away
    Build it anyway

    You could chase a dream
    That seems so out of reach
    And you know it might not ever come your way
    Dream it anyway

    God is great but sometimes life aint good
    And when I pray
    It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
    But I do it anyway
    I do it anyway

    This worlds gone crazy
    And it's hard to believe
    That tomorrow will be better than today
    Believe it anyway

    You can love someone with all your heart
    For all the right reasons
    And in a moment they can choose to walk away
    Love them anyway

    God is great but sometimes life aint good
    And when I pray
    It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
    But I do it anyway
    Yeah I do it anyway

    You can pour your soul out singing
    A song you believe in
    That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
    Sing it anyway
    Yeah sing it anyway

    I sing
    I dream
    I love anyway

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  6. May hope, peace and JOY course through your veins today! You are leaning on Him and He is there. Keep on loving Him and others. You are precious!

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  7. "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." Psalm 118:8
    I was told once that this is the CENTER verse of the Bible. Interesting. (I never counted the accuracy of that!)
    He is faithful and completely trustworthy! Rest in Him.

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  8. Cindy, thanks for your comment on my blog. Here's the info on that song: Katie Giguere – ANYWAY
    From the album – I LIFT UP MY EYES
    Label – Martingale Music (2007)

    Glad you enjoyed it.
    Blessings,
    Joy

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  9. Cindy,
    Thank you for stopping by my blog and your sweet words. I don't think I have met you before..it is nice to meet you.

    I understand this post TOO well. I too have been betrayed in all those places. It hurts, rocking your world and leaving you in the arms of the only one who is reliable. People wound people...yet it's not what it was meant to be. That's why we feel it so deeply. Our hearts were not created for this.

    I too choose relationship, though sometimes it is messy and painful. Because it is in the image of relationship that I was created. It is what I was made for.

    I too understand.
    Hugs,
    Julie

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Hi Friend, I read and cherish every single comment you leave! You bring Joy to my heart! Blessings, Cindy