Thursday, October 4, 2018

Recreating ... Not the Answer




Hi Sweet Friends

2008
It seems like a lifetime ago
In the weeks leading up to my 50th Birthday
I challenged myself to try new things
Face some fears
And reach for far off dreams

I did Canon Balls in my pool
Played my piano daily
And vowed to stand on the edge
Of the Grand Canyon to see the sun rise

My fear of heights was No match
For my Dream to be their
I did … And so did my husband and sons

It was a time of strength, growing
And JOY
Nothing could stop me from
Embracing a new decade and enjoying life

2018
Life is so different
My husband has been with Jesus for nearly 8 years
My oldest son and his family live in Texas
My youngest son lives away in a group home
I am here … Alone … 
Trying to recreate my 50
It's Not The Answer

It's taken me 40 days to realize
That I was trying to recreate a time in my life
But it is Not were I am today
I cannot go back
I cannot recreate

I desperately want to embrace 60
In the same way I did 50
Yet, I am not the same
Nor is my Life

So
I'm done with 60 to 60
 

I bought myself some flowers
After work yesterday
Just Because


I treated myself to a pedicure today
Just Because

I don't know what the next 20 days hold
I just know, It will be different
It won't be a Joy-Filled journey 
To the next decade with my family

But, It Will Be...








7 comments:

  1. Cindy, I had lost track of you. I have often thought about how you were doing. Time goes on , doesn't it? You have weather some storms dear girl. I am wishing you a beautiful 60th birthday. Stay strong in your faith my friend. Blessings, xoxo, Susie

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  2. I'm glad you can recognize that trying to make this time joyful isn't going to work. The joy can come but we can't force it. Take care of yourself like you are doing. The little things, flowers,pedicure and other little luxuries for yourself! Life has changed a lot in 10 years! Hang in there!

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  3. Sounds like you are getting off on the right start, flowers and pedicures are good. Just don't try too hard and let things come naturally it's ok that 60 won't be the same as 50, it's a new age to embrace. Hang in there and take care, I'll be checking up on you!!
    Saimi

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  4. Cindy, I've been thinking of you and praying for you. I have not walked in your shoes and don't feel qualified to give you advice. However, two suggestions from friends come to mind that were helpful in my own life and I feel led to pass them along to you. The first is to get a dog. We had two cats when my kids were growing up, but a close friend suggested getting a dog to fill the empty nest void, and she was so right. That little dog filled the house with joy and laughter again! The second comes from the Ann Voskamp book, A Thousand Gifts. A very dear friend started a gratitude journal around the same time she was diagnosed with cancer. By the time she died four years later, she had four large journals filled with over 14,000 items she was grateful for. It was a powerful testament at her funeral to the power of her gratitude, to turn those from years of dying, to her most beautiful and poignant years of living. I know we tend to all be grateful for the big things in life, but the beauty of this exercise, is to focus on the tiny moments that Illuminate our everyday life. Blessings to you 💕 Pam

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  5. Dearest Cindy ~ You've been in my thoughts and prayers.

    We cannot create what we have had, but we can create new experiences and even joys in our lives. Just take each day as it comes and seek out the beauty in each one. Buying flowers and having a pedicure sound like wonderful gifts to yourself.

    Knowing that your dear husband is with Jesus can fill your heart with peace. When I think of my dear husband being there, it fills me with peace, and even joy. Who knows maybe our two guys have met each other and are cheering us both on as we continue this life journey without them. What they know for sure, is that Jesus is working things out in our lives, and we need to keep focused on that, and praise Him for all that He is doing for us. He is our strength when we are weak, He loves us dearly. Let us be satisfied in Him and love Him back with all of our hearts.

    I love you dear friend ~ FlowerLady

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Hi Friend, I read and cherish every single comment you leave! You bring Joy to my heart! Blessings, Cindy