Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I Think He Would Be Proud

Taken at Phoenix International Raceway

In the 16 months since my husband's passing the wedding anniversary has become one of the most difficult dates to go through.  I wonder if it is because little girls dream about their wedding day their entire growing up years and then when it happens, and it is awesome, they remember it as one of the most precious and life changing days of their lives.

I loved our wedding day!  We lived in the mountains on the eastern side of the Sierras, just southeast of Lake Tahoe, CA.  I awoke to snow and panic! We planned to married in the old Methodist Church in Bodie, California, which is now a State Park.  We had special permits, numerous guest who would brave the 13-mile dirt road trip and excitement galore.  Snow was not in the plans. Yet, we journeyed on, faced the few inches and only a few people (who decided to take the back road), didn't make it to the church on time.

The guests couldn't sit on the dusty pew benches for fear it would disturb the 'natural' look, it was freezing cold, my niece (only 7 months old) cried through the entire ceremony (but now we say she sang because), the musician didn't show up, my dress got stuck on an old rusty nail, my hat/veil went flying when Mark kissed me :), my dad thought he needed to be in ALL of the groom/groomsmen photos, we forgot the flowers at the church when we went back to town for the reception, we got a fix it ticket on the way to Tahoe, it was 'that time of the month', and IT. WAS. WONDERFUL!!!

It was the day I began my nearly 30-year marriage to my Bestest Friend and Soul Mate.  It was 31 years ago today!  I've been doing well but have to admit that I woke up a bit fragile today!  I wanted so much to wake up this morning and feel his touch, look into his eyes, and hear his voice! But, that must wait until the day Jesus decides to call my name home.

Today, I think my Mark would be proud of my progress, my strength and me.  Or, should I say, the strength the Lord has given me in the months since Mark's passing.  I have replaced a garbage disposal and a kitchen faucet. I have replaced the overflow tank in my Malibu.  I have thatched and seeded the back yard and watched a beautiful lawn grow.  I have been able to keep up with the pool (tough job though), have been able to do a couple of painting projects, as well as landscaping and maintenance around The Place.

I've worked tirelessly in regards to our finances and stewardship, have paid off the house, purchased a new car all by myself, adjusted my expenses to meet my smaller income, and continue to set aside $$ for emergencies as well as retirement (LOL).

My spiritual and emotional state has gone through strength training as well. I've had to make some extremely tough decisions in recent months regarding both. Mark would be sad that I had to make them, but oh, so proud of how I have done so and the peace God has given me in those choices.

Physically, well, that is where I have struggled the most. But I'm working on that part and I think he would be proud as well.

You may have read my 'Laundry List' of things that still need tending to around The Place but I'm working on it day by day.

Yes, I think My Mark would be Proud of his Bride! And Yes...I still miss him everyday! 

Happy Anniversary Mark! Here's to the Blessing of 30+ years together and God's Faithful Hand Guiding Us Through It All. 


  1. I know I'm proud of you. Praying God's comforting love to surround your heart and mind on this day of special remembrance! Tender memories, tearful ones as well.


  2. Cindy, My heart still hurts for you. I know that Mark would be so proud of you but more than that I know our Lord would be so incredibly proud of how you've continued on, despite the trials that have come and relied on Him. Praying His presence covers you today and in the coming days, until you meet your man again.
    Hugs, Noreen

  3. Oh Cindy, I'm sure Mark is proud of you. And all those who have watched and prayed with you are also so proud of you!

    Sending gentle hugs and blessings to you, sweet one!


  4. Cindy, you have been an inspiration to watch..even from afar. Oh yes, Mark would be so proud of you, I am sure.


Hi Friend, I read and cherish every single comment you leave! You bring Joy to my heart! Blessings, Cindy