Mom's Waiting...

A journey is a process of small steps, mostly forward, sometimes backward.  Choosing to find a safer route can force you to adjust your path and at the same time cause the journey to be lengthened.  All the while heading toward a destination but desiring to enjoy and find blessing as you travel.

At times there seems to be no joy in the journey, just a daily trudging toward a goal, a destination, a desired end. Stopping to look, listen and hear the still small voice of God through the journey is always a welcomed reprieve from the pursuit.

No matter what journey you find yourself on, I pray you are able to find Joy within.

In recent weeks we have found our family to be on a difficult yet praise worthy journey.  Several weeks ago my mom had a small stroke of which she has recovered from very nicely.  Yet, through the series of tests performed during her hospital stay, a lesion was discovered in her brain.  In the weeks that have followed she has had more tests and lab work done. What once was considered a large cancerous tumor in the  base of her skull, has since changed.

During a PETScan and subsequent visit to her oncologist, we have received excellent news. There is NO evidence of Aggressive or Advanced cancer, in fact the lesion is not even a tumor. Her lab work was perfect, I could only wish mine was so great!! That is Praise Worthy News!!

However, we have learned that the lesion is an area of total deterioration of the bone with unknown origin.  According to her neurosurgeon she has lost 40% of the bone.  It is still possible it is cancer which has eaten the bone or an old infection from many years ago. 

Our options are to wait 3 months and re-scan to see if there has been any growth or change or proceed with another set of CT and MRI scans with a possibility of biopsy to follow depending on the results of those 2 tests.  Mom has yet to make a decision, so we wait.

Did you realize that when you are on a journey it is ok and essential to take those moments to 'wait' (stop, look and listen)?  I'm so thankful for these moments of 'rest' and 'wait'. God weaves them into our journey so preciously. He desires for us to listen for His voice amongst the noises of a world vying for our attention.

Tonight I rest is His perfect timing and grace. Thank you for journeying with us and praying specifically for my mom.

Be Blessed!!

...so Mom's journey has begun...

God's timing is always perfect

Even though, at the time, we may not realize just how perfect.

Just a few short weeks ago

I was able to take my mom on a fun and restful week vacation

We played, rested, and played some more

We shopped, ate and shopped some more

We watched people play golf, sat on the patio and watched more golf

We watched TV, some of her favorite programs

And played, ate and rested some more

Little did we know that just a few short weeks later

Mom's life would take a bit of a turn

And she would begin a new journey

On February 21, 2013 mom had a mini stroke

Which, thankfully, she has recovered from very nicely

However,

Through the process of numerous tests doctors found something they were not looking for

It seems mom has two lesions (tumors) in or near her brain stem

We don't have all the answers yet

We met with her oncologist yesterday

(he is truly a delight)

Over the next 3 weeks mom will have more blood work done

And have a PET Scan

She has already had numerous CT Scans,

MRI's and even a full body nuclear med scan but they have yet to determine

what type of lesions are in her brain.

We will see a neurosurgeon in the days ahead

Although it is quite unlikely that he will choose to do any

type of surgery to either biopsy or remove the tumors.

It seems the location is not an area even the best of neurosurgeons venture to operate.

Mom has been staying with me this week

And will stay with me another week

Before heading home to my brothers

Which is just down the road a bit :)

She's hanging out with my sister tonight

Which afforded me the opportunity to get on my computer

We have an interesting journey ahead:

So,

I ask for prayer

for wisdom

for guidance

and for joy in the journey

We believe in the mighty miracle working power of God

We stand on His promises

And we graciously thank Him

For His provision and Mercy

2 Tickets To Paradise

Well, not exactly 2 tickets

More like

1 rental car, 3 people, and several hundred miles

And, not exactly Paradise either

More like

Palm Desert, CA

Which was as close to Paradise as we could get on this trip:)

Day 1 took my mother, my son and myself

Driving several hundred miles

In a rented vehicle

(because my car had a fit the day before we left)

Beautiful weather

Leisurely drive

Food stops and laughter

Day 2

Lots of time in the great outdoors

At least outside our room on the beautiful patio

Which overlooked a gorgeous golf course

Jammies on early and lots of rest

Day 3

Lots of shopping

Cabazon, CA Outlet mall is one of my Favorite places

Coach and Brighton our favorite shops

Even my son enjoyed his shopping excursion

Day 4

Since my mom and son were making plenty of remarks about my 'snoring'

(I have Never heard myself snore)

Anyway,

They bought Pink Ear Plugs

To help them sleep

Oh My Goodness

Oh, Did you notice my mom's hair?

I cut it today :)

Day 5

We ventured into Palm Springs for the day

Can you believe who we found?

Yes, a larger than life Marilyn Monroe

Who recently traveled to CA via Chicago

I guess she likes to travel

Mom Loved It!!!

Here we are with our Day 5 Photo

Out side our Resort room

Day 6

It was actually quite rainy

We were supposed to go into LA

However,

The road were just awful and we were instructed to just stay put

Staying put was a bit boring so we found

An nearby Mall to spend the day at

Yep...More Shopping

Day 7

MORE RAIN

We actually did stay put

Sort of

We drove back to Palm Springs

Drove by a few of our favorite locations

Which we enjoyed many times while I was growing up

(Palm Springs was our family fun spot in my young years)

We did a bit more shopping

This time

At the local grocery:)

Day 8

Found us traveling home in the rain

We did stop at Quartzsite, AZ

I've wanted to visit their town wide

Flea Markets/Swap Marts for several years

They are only open from Jan - Mar

So this was my chance

Didn't purchase much

But did enjoy getting wet and looking at all the fun stuff

Mostly,

On This Trip

I sat here

On the Patio

With my feet up

Enjoying watching silly adults play golf

I laughed a LOT

Rested more than Enough

And enjoyed time with my mom and son

2 tickets to Paradise?

No,

I'll just take 3 adults to Palm Desert

In a rented vehicle for 8 glorious days of FUN!!!

I Promise

I'm going to update my blog

Really!

I Promise!

Soon :)

Why Reach...

Raw, real and possibly too much information, but that is how I will begin 2013.

Why Reach? 

Over the past several years it has become commonplace for bloggers and others to choose a word of the year. A word that each individual will focus on and allow God to work in them. Last year I became one of those bloggers and I chose 'Anew'. It was a perfect word for what God had intended to work in my heart in 2012. As I began to pray about this years 'word', the only thing that came to me was 'reach'.  What an odd word I began to almost to complain to God. I wanted a real, cool word, but reach is all that would come.

As I began praying about why reach, the Lord opened my spirit to His.  

At the end of 2011, nearly a year after losing Mark, I could feel the Lord saying it was time to begin to minister again, to begin giving back and reaching out. Unfortunately, those in authority over me, didn't like the way I had 'grieved out loud' during that first year after my loss and although they believed God was ready to use me and had actually called me to the ministry I was offering myself to, they felt it important to criticize and ridicule me by saying I was belittling, demeaning, hostile, ungodly.

Instead of being bold and moving forward with the calling God had placed on my life, I retreated, cocooned myself and stopped attending church. I allowed people's opinions of me to be more important than God's purpose and I closed myself off from nearly all forms of communication with church and church family.  I internalized negative words spoken to me and began to believe I was worthless to God and this world.  Yes, I believed man instead of God.

I did not reach out, I looked inward. 

Over the past few months, as I have begun to allow God to speak to my broken and crushed spirit He has made it quite clear that reaching out is in fact what He has not only asked me to do but commanded of his daughter. He has spent time healing my heart and preparing me (again) for His purpose.

It's is sad for me to admit that my pride has kept me from serving God. Pride is an ugly word that the enemy can and does use to keep us from reaching out for fear of rejection or just plain old painful feelings. Pride kept me from forgiving the person who spoke those words to me, pride kept me from moving forward and reaching out. 

In recent days I've had to forgive and accept God's forgiveness of me. As I lay pride at the foot of the cross I  lay hurt and brokenness there as well.  At the foot of the cross I find peace and grace!

Reach for 2013? Yes, that's the word, however, I have no idea how it will play out or what it will look like. How do you begin to reach for God's purpose when you are not a member of a church and have no ministry ties what so ever?

Yes, I have led women's ministry, I have written and taught Bible studies, I have spoken at retreats, yet what is past is past! I have NO picture of the future yet I have Faith, that God will fulfill what He has promised. 

He has promised to be with me, to not leave me nor forsake me! He has promised that no matter what I face, He is strong enough to face it with me. He shall provide all my needs, His word will be a lamp on the darkened path, and He will calm the raging sea. When He has a plan and I desire with all my heart to be in the middle of that plan, He will fulfill it. 

Reach for 2013? God only know.......

Thank you to Melanie at Only A Breath for creating my new one word button!