A Simple Question!

If today were your last day on earth

Would you be happy with the result?

Bloggy Friend Lunch!

It always makes me happy when I can meet one of my bloggy friends.


It makes me even happier when they really do become friends and we enjoy each others company.

I recently had another opportunity to have lunch with LeeBird.

She and I both live in the Phoenix Area (East Valley) and enjoy getting together as often as possible. I absolutely adore her!

Lee is a prayer warrior and a woman after God's own heart. I truly love spending time with her. She is one of those Christian ladies who make you feel so relaxed. And relaxed is what I need in my life just now and time with her is just what the (heavenly) doctor ordered last week.

Lee is the inspired writer of Prayer Gifts (here). You will have to stop by and get to know her. It will be a place you will love to re-visit week after week.

Considering Bloggy Friends With Great Joy,
Cindy

HE~~~25

How can it be that he is 25?

Time can not have gone by so quickly.

Though I do not know anything about the day he was born,

I will never forget the day he was placed in my arms for the first time.

With only 12 hours notice our lives became filled with joy and expectancy when on November 1, 1985 at just barely 18 weeks old a tiny 7 pound angel arrived on the door step.

Did we have any understanding months before as we knelt to pray for his birth parents that God was already preparing our hearts for what was to come?

He came with a grim prognosis. A death sentence really.

Deaf, blind, and paralyzed on his left side.

Don't get your hopes up. This child will not live.

If he does, he will never walk or talk. He will be a vegetable.

Will you love on him, hold him and care for him until such time as we can find a place for him or until he dies? Don't fall in love they warned! There will be many therapies, many doctor appointments, and much heartache ahead.

Do not get your hopes up??? I questioned, as my heart filled with hope.

Don't fall in love??? Yeah, Right!!!

My eyes upon an angel that God chose for this mama to love,

Little did any of us know what lie ahead?

Prayer as never known prior. Knees calloused and tear filled Bibles.

Hours turned to days and days turned to weeks.

Precious moments spent loving a child with no clear understanding what the future might hold.

Trusting in God, faith in the unknown, what more could we do?

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a

That is the love God placed in this mama's heart for a child not flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone but still miraculously my own.

Hopes into dreams and dreams into reality.

And today continues the 25 year miracle of God's love and greatness:)

Here is 'RED' (as he is known to his friends) today showing off some of his Many Equestrian ribbons!

Happy '25th'Birthday To One Amazing Young Man!!!

Considering Trust With Great Joy,
Cindy

His Temple~~~

There are times in life when you absolutely know you must do something but don't want to. Have you ever had one of those times? When every time you turn around you are reminded of it, whether it is something someone says, something you read, something you hear on the radio, read or see. I am having one of THOSE times.

There are times when a two by four is not big enough for me to move and God needs more like a six by six. I love telling stories of things God has done in my life (when they are DONE) but NOT when I am in the process. Get the picture?

I am In. The. Process. and God wants me to share! One of the most difficult posts I have written to date. I don't care to be vulnerable because I don't like to be hurt but sometimes you just don't get a choice in the matter.

Growing up in a city just a little east of Los Angeles in the 70's we would run out nearly every morning to catch a ride on the Helms truck. Do you know what that is? Imagine the ice cream truck only filled with jelly donuts (and every other kind too), bread, button candy, and loads of other baked goods, fresh, warm, and straight from the bakery. Mr. Helms man would let some of us neighborhood kids jump on the truck and ride down to the end of the cul-de-sac and back then he would open one of those beautiful draws and let us pick out a donut. YUM...I can taste them now.

We also had the ice cream truck (50/50 bars) and the dairy truck (cottage cheese w/pineapple). They would come down Wellsford and offer so many kinds of goodies, treats that filled our bodies with goodness (well, sugar). It became a habit that we all loved.

Fast forward, ahem, 40+ years and I still have the same bad habits I had as a kid. I LOVE ice cream, donuts and sugar. I am a sugarholic and it is making me sick, besides the fact that I have gained an awful amount of weight and am miserable. Many of you who read this blog already know that my A1C is too high and I was supposed to eliminate sugar from my diet, I did well for a couple weeks but .......

I believe, because I don't drink caffeine of any kind, that I use the sugar as a 'pick-me-up' of sorts. I realize I have to stop but it is quite difficult. Sugar is in everything and when I get stressed I crave it!!!

But the worst part is even more difficult to admit. I am also addicted to Excedrin. You know, the caffeine, 65mg per pill, it has become a habit that I am having more trouble breaking than the habit of sugar. I have given employees at work my bottles to hide and then I just go buy more. So awful!

I do realize how many people read this blog. Though I may not have hundreds of comments on a daily basis I do have hundreds of readers. I might not be super smart but I do use stat~counter. It is possible that I just may have lost readers, shocked friends and made enemies, but I have to be real.

Over the past couple of weeks God has placed a scripture in front of me daily.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Every morning I wake up and tell myself that this is the day I am going to make good choices. And within hours I have failed again. I have eaten a donut, taken Excedrin, bought a Sprite or put some other toxic sugar laden item into my mouth.

My prayer is that by opening up my heart and sharing this with people who love me, I can find accountability. I am full aware that it is MY responsibility as to what goes into my body and that ultimately it is my choice, I just think that if I put it in writing, it somehow makes it more real.

In the morning I will wake again to a new day, a new opportunity, a new decision, a new hope. I am believing for a new outcome! I will remember that my body is the Temple of God's precious Holy Spirit and it IS important how I take care of this Temple.

I. Will. Not. Fear. Success! (That is a whole other blog post)

God is doing a work and I need to start using the tools He has given to me:)

Considering New Choices With Great Joy,

Cindy

The House Is A Buzz...

The House Is A Buzz with laughter and praising God because Daddy is HOME!!

It has been a whirlwind day.

Awesome church service this morning and then off to the hospital for a visit.

I am Happy to report that the visit turned into a discharge and Home We Are.

The kids have been here all evening. A delicious meal was delivered from one of the sweet Barn Mom's along with 2 desserts and homemade blueberry muffins for breakfast.

It was so wonderful to spend time all together rejoicing while we sat out on the patio enjoying each other's company. Even our little poochy and a stray kitty (blog post for another day) joined in the fun.

Mark's creatinine went down to 1.15 (awesome kidney number). The cardiologist and Pulmonologist both want Mark to follow up this week with more tests but they did sign off on his release. NO, I didn't let him leave AMA!!! We did learn that Mark has moderate to severe heart disease and will need a complete work-up followed by on going treatment. But we believe that God allowed us to be in the right place at the right time otherwise we would have no idea of this new concern and he was headed for a massive heart attack (according to two docs).

So for tonight we are thankful and most grateful for the prayer support we have received. We know how much we are loved and thank you all for kind words of encouragement and love.

Now I am off to enjoy one more bowl of ice cream and then tomorrow - well - the new reality of healthy eating for ALL of us sets in:)

Considering Life With Joy,
Cindy

Disappointing News...

So today's news was not as wonderful as we had hoped for.

The good news was that:

C-Diff was negative:)
Valley Fever was negative:)
Nuclear Renal Function Study showed NO blockage:):):)


The difficult news was:

Creatinine went back up to 1.55
CT Scan continues to show total haziness in both lungs (fluid of some sort)
2D Echo showed Pulmonary Hypertension :(
C-Reactive Protein was 36.5 and should not be over 8

Today we had more tests:
Chest X-ray
Doppler of legs to check for blood clots - there were NONE!!!
Another Nuclear test of the lungs looking for clots - no answers yet.
More blood work: ANA, Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, etc.

So tonight we wait some more.

Mark actually feels pretty well so his little grumpiness has reappeared and he is giving everybody heck!! That's Mark!!

Though I am more than exhausted I cannot complain, there are so many parents whose sweet children are just across the hospital in the children's center who don't get to go home every night and sleep. They sit in a chair and just watch their babies all night to make sure nothing happens.

For me, I get to come home and be with Matthew and sleep or rest in my own bed:)

I received an awesome e-mail when I did return today (sure wish I had a lap-top so I could blog during the day instead of waiting until I get home) anyway, back to the e-mail. It was from Matthew's horse trainer and they (Silver Lining Team Mom's) are bringing meals over for the next several days PLUS the trainers house keeper has offered to clean our house one day!!! I am SO thankful. I guess they got tired of me saying I was eating donuts, soda and ice cream everyday:)

With that said, I am off to eat ice cream one more time:)

Thanks for praying and caring so much.
We know we are loved.
Cindy

New Update...

Hi Peeps,

Honestly I was so tired last night I couldn't even type so here is a very short update.

Creatinine down to 1.35 - Good

Urine - perfect

24 hour output for quantitative protein completed last night - no news

Results expected today:
C-Diff
Nuclear renal function study
Valley Fever
2D Echo

CT of lungs showed complete haziness - will need to see pulmonology at some point

Hoping, praying, desiring to bring him home today:) But they said Monday!! Let's see who wins!

Headed up there in a little while.

Matthew is quite lonely, I need to attempt to be home some today.

We are eating lots of donuts and ice cream (bad, bad, bad), I don't do much caffeine but sugar is keeping me going:)

Truthfully, God is keeping me going and I am doing well.

His Grace out weighs my exhaustion,
His Peace out weighs my thoughts,
His Presence out weighs my loneliness,
And His Healing Power out weighs Mark's illness:)

What do people do without God???????

Considering Even This Season With Joy,
Cindy

Update!

So, where to start?

The past 72 hours seem a blur of emotions, driving freeways and more tests than I can remember anybody undergoing in such a short period of time.

The good news of the day is that Mark's Creatinine went from 1.64 to 1.5 today. Doctors are looking for 1.3 or less. Also, his UA was negative today compared to yesterday's scare. And, I believe we were told his blood cultures are negative so far. I can't remember though, but I think that is what they said.

The finally did the renal ultra sound this morning and between those results and the CT Scan they did find that Mark has Hydronephrosis which is a dilation of the transplanted kidney. This could be caused by infection or a blockage. Tomorrow morning they will do a nuclear renal scan to see if there is a blockage.

They did another CT Scan tonight of Mark's chest because when they did the previous abdominal CT they saw cloudiness in Mark's lower lungs. The possibilities are numerous but Valley Fever and Congestive Heart Failure were discussed. They will do a 2D Echo of Mark's heart tomorrow also.

They are running cocci titers in the morning and a host of other blood work.

He had a prostate check and blood drawn for PSA. So far those look good:)

The stopped two of his antibiotics and now is only on one, so that is also good news.

They have begun a 24-hour urine to check quantitatives for protein. ??? Don't ask!

They will also check his Cellcept and Rapmune levels in the morning. Poor guy, what a pin cushion his arms are becoming.

I honestly can't remember if I was told anything else. I wrote several things down but my mind is a blank just now.

Doctors predict he will remain in the hospital through the weekend which drew some 'grouchy' out of my guy:( I have my work cut out for me:)

As for things on the home front, somehow the pile of dishes on the counter grew larger (but I just washed them-yes by hand-our dish washer is broken) and laundry well, piled higher! Dog hair in the hallway multiplied and the bed, still unmade, but no problem because I may actually lie down at some point before morning.

Matthew is fine and had a great day at Raw-Hide and then went to dinner with Andrew and family. (So sweet of them)

So, that it about it! I have much to do before work in the AM and then off to the hospital by 10am or so.

Oh, and by the way, I ate a really awful salad at the hospital today so I decided to skip dinner and now I will treat myself to a LARGE Reece's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard!! I wonder how many points that is???

"Though I was pushed back and about to fall, the Lord helped me. The Lord is my strength and my song: he has become my salvation. Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous: The Lord's right hand has done mighty things! Psalm 118: 113-15

Cindy

But for Today...

There are dirty dishes still sitting on the kitchen counter.

The bed hasn't been made in 2 days.

There is dog hair along the hallway floor.

The bathrooms are a mess.

Mail hasn't been touched.

Bills need to be paid.

Laundry is piling up.

And the list goes on and on.

But for Today...

Hubby is in the hospital.

And it's been a long 48 hours.

Matthew has plans of his own.

His day is filled with fun.

Choices need to be made.

What is most important to be done.

I guess those things will have to wait.

Because hubby is number one.

Off to the hospital:)

Special Guest Writer Tonight!!!

I am so excited tonight to introduce you to a very special young man.

Matthew is our youngest son and one of the joys of our lives.

Matthew came into our lives when he was 4 months old with a death sentence for a prognosis yet God had another plan for his life.

Matthew has chosen to share one of his loves with you.

I hope you enjoy meeting him in his own words:

My progress with horse riding 2008-2010

I started riding in 2008.

My first pony to ride was Spencer I learned to walk and trot during the first lessons I took.

My second pony to ride was Callie. She is a great starter pony but she does not like to jump.

My third horse was Titan. He was the first jumping horse I got to ride. When on Titan I learned to jump cross rails.

My forth horse was Bose. I learned to steer and trot bigger cross-rails with Bose. I learned how to use a crop on Bose. I also won 6 Blue ribbons and 1 Championship on Bose at the Flagstaff show in 2009. Bose passed away last fall. He was my favorite horse and I still miss him so much

My fifth horse to ride was Chance. I haven't really learned anything but how to fall off a horse on him. For some reason Chance thinks it's funny to make kids fall off of him.

My sixth horse was Coco. I learned to jumped and canter all the jumps on her. I even jumped the roll-top with her this year and that is BIG. My first show on Coco was a wild one because she used to be a race horse and when we were in the arena she thought she was at the Kentucky Derby instead of at Marley's. I still won some ribbons on her though.

The horses that were canceled for me to ride were Hope, Kyle and Classie. Hope was to slow for me and I couldn't get her going. Kyle was too slow for me as well. Classie was the first horse I rode that was fast but I couldn't ride her after not being to stop her in the arena.

Guest horses that I rode in 2009 were Cooper and Carsten. I also rode Colby this year but like Cooper and Carsten he was a guest horse too.

I fell off of Coco and Chance so far but I have learned to direct my falls and so far have not been hurt.

I am good with balance thanks to video-gaming. I can see better with my eyes. Video games can help with vision and focus.

I have pretty much ridden all of the horses at Silver Lining except Gwen and Lilly. Gwen is a giant and Lilly is a baby. Oh, I haven't ridden Prince, Porcia, Winston or Turner because they are other people's ponies and they are mostly small.

I think I could ride any horse slow or fast and I am ready to go 3 FT next year. :)

The next time I write I will tell you about my trainer and all the great friends I have made through horse riding.

And by the way my friends all call me RED!

Allergic to the Sun???

Do you know anybody who is allergic to the sun?

No? Well, you may now!

That is if the doctors decide I'm allergic to the sun or just had an allergic reaction to the sun.

Um??? Isn't that the same thing?

Yeah, so you know what kind of day I had~!

So, to be honest, I'm not sure if I'm allergic to the sun, had an allergic reaction to the sun or something else. I won't show you pictures of me but you can go here and here to see similar photos of what my arms, legs and back look like just now. Although mine is a bit worse because I have left it untreated for 2 months. YUCK!!

Today, the Physician I saw decided to treat me for Tinea Versicolor for one week. Put 'special' lotion on all affected areas for 10 minutes then wash off, reapply lotion for another 10 minutes and wash off again (I think). If it does not get better then I am off to a dermatologist or immunologist. They did do lab work today because it may actually be an auto-immune issue. I just LOVE answers.

Yes, it was a frustrating day:)

So, instead of whining any longer I will post my Friday Night Five and focus on some wonderful stuff.

1 - After a VERY long year for our family, Andrew got his driver's license Today and I could not be more grateful. He has worked hard and made enormous changes in his life. He has come a long way and we are So Very Proud of Him!!!

2 - Today I got off work a little early and as always am very thankful that the Lord has blessed me with a fabulous job and truly a wonderful friend.

3 - Today my cute Hubby is feeling some better and the scare of the week is behind us. Thankful is an understatement.

4 - Hubby and I both drive 13 year old cars that have 100 AND 200+ thousand miles on them. Do you know how amazing that is? God works miracles even when we don't realize it. Look around and see how He has saved you many $$$$ just by allowing something to work for a very long time. Don't whine about how old something is, be grateful that you don't have to spend money to replace it.

5 - Hubby just got home from the store - he bought groceries - I don't have to shop this weekend - there is a race on in an hour and I am just going to enjoy homemade taco's, a soda and a quiet night at home:)

See, it wasn't such a bad day after all!!

Blessings to all of my bloggy peeps,

Cindy

Something Fun

Hi Blog Peeps

I don't have time to write down all that is in my mind

So

I just decided to post a quick picture

And

Say to do something FUN today with somebody

LITTLE:)

Make it a GREAT day!